mom: hey, jess what are you up to?
me: just got back from buying the last of the water at HEB?
mom: oh, yeah, why are you doing that?
me: ummm, this little HURRICANE called Edwardo that’s coming right for us!!!
mom: there’s a hurricane out there?
me: yeah mom, where the crap have been the last 2 days under a rock?
mom: nope just working to get things ready to go back to school.
there’s the life of a oblivious school teacher getting ready to start school! 
ummm Jess? It’s Edouard…
just sayin